I remember looking at myself in the mirror one morning 16-17 years ago contemplating different theories on how people became adults. I was under the impression that you fell asleep one night and woke up the next morning fully grown and ready to take on the world of adulting. Although that’s not how it happened, that’s exactly how it felt.
There are two specific times I like to reflect on life every year; New years Eve and my birthday. Although these lessons are not ones life taught me at 24 alone, this previous year was the year I really felt the weight of them.
1- Do what you love, love what you do.
There are few things in life that will catch your eyes, but only a few will catch your heart. Those are the things you should pursue. Life is too short to do anything less than the things you’re passionate about and those are the things you will find success through academically, professionally, and personally.
2- Respect comes with a strong personality, not a weak one.
If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. Setting boundaries and learning to say no are the essence of mental health and a balanced life.
3- If your heart is not in it, it’s not worth it.
I think one of the biggest mistakes people make as a whole is trying to convince themselves of the things they think they should do, things they think are “best” for them, or things they think will make others happy. There’s a reason your gut is giving you an uncertain feeling. Don’t ignore it. Don’t tell yourself that it will change or get better with time. If your heart isn’t 100% in it, avoid it whether it be a person, place or decision you have to make. You’ll thank yourself at some point down the road.
4- Try to avoid expectations.
We all have goals, aspirations, and things we want to do throughout life. When those things don’t work out in our favor we tend to take them personal. I discovered a secret to happiness that sounds a lot easier to do than it actually is but it’s not impossible; letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best out of it. There’s good in every bad, even if it means a lesson you had to learn. Look at it as a way of growing. For a seed to achieve its greatest expression it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it’s insides come out and everything changes. To someone who does not understand growth it would look like complete destruction.
5- Take the risk or lose the chance.
Growing up is realizing that you have been wrong many times, and that you will be wrong again. Keep an open mind, be understanding of yourself and be willing to get out of your comfort zone. You can not grow if you do not at least try. The failure is not one who makes mistakes, it’s the one who does not learn from them. Sometimes a failed plan or procedure it not a bad thing, it’s actually a good thing because it’s one more thing you can scratch off your list of things that do not work to find the things that do. I noticed within our 3arab community we avoid the path less taken because we’re afraid of things not going as planned. We end up making the same mistakes because that’s all we know. Instead of trying a different way out of fear, everyone ends up competing with one another. Every insight, lesson and tip you accumulate in this world is worth nothing if you never give others a chance to learn from you, and you’ll never know until you try.
6- Some days are better than others.
I came and still come across days when I feel like I can do anything, and other days where anything feels like too much. In between the two is where my character is shaped. Had it not been for both and every single thing that came along with them I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
7- The way someone treats you says more about them then it does about you.
You see in the world what you carry in your heart.
8- The older I get the more I realize I just don’t want certain types of people around me anymore.
Personal experience: It’s been about almost a year I’v been cutting out toxic relationships.
Conclusion: Life is so much more peaceful now.
While life may not sometimes be easier, I definitely have more room to think about solutions to my problems without being weighed down by others. Some people just stunt your personal growth and in those cases it’s okay to put yourself first. Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.
9- Nothing is ever too much.
I spent years of my life doubting many things because I didn’t think I was capable of them or I made excuses as to why I couldn’t and told myself they were too much. I eventually realized that every day that passes goes by faster than the one before it and that the time is passing regardless, leading back to lesson #5. You’ll never know until you try. You just have to set a goal and make sure you work towards it every day, whether it be for a minute or 10 hours. Writing down the steps or making a list helps SO much. You also get the satisfaction of crossing those things off one by one as you accomplish/reach them in addition to fueling your motivation.
10- Khalto Aesthetics.
I learned a whole new definition of what it meant to love someone after that someone became my nephew. He makes my heart feel whole.
11- How to cope with life’s curve-balls.
Bad days happen and on those days it is crucial to keep going regardless. It’s difficult to not let life dictate your emotions given there is so little control over the things that happen everyday, but it is important to know that you can learn to control your own emotions and therefore change the way you view situations and incidents. When you feel like staying in bed without a valid reason, get up anyway.
12- الدنيا دوارة، يوم الك ويوم علي
3arabi proverbs are my favorite and as much as we made fun of some growing up I find myself coming across them with every year that passes. Life really is like a circle. One day is for you and one against you. Of course I’m a believer of destiny however I also believe that what you put into this world is what you will get back, good and bad.
13-كل شي في وقته حلو
Everything at it’s own timing is sweet. The same way our finger prints are individually unique is the same principles that applies to our lives. When I chase the things I think I want I find myself caught in a loop of stress and anxiety. After experience and sitting in my own place of patience, I see that whatever it is I need flows to me, without pain and that the pieces find their own place at their own pace, exactly where they should be.
14- I have been and am still learning the Hebrew language.
As much as it makes me cringe to say this but it was Netanyahu who initiated the motive for me to learn the Hebrew language. A year ago when he visited the states after Trump took office I noticed he gave his speech in English perfectly. Aside from the fact he was born in the United States, he also speaks perfect Hebrew and Arabi. When Mahmoud Abbas visited he gave his speech in Arabi and needed an interpreter to translate his speech. It was embarrassing. Netanyahu is no better than me and if he can speak all three languages fluently then I can too. (I’ll need to anyway once his government gets overthrown and I take his place.)
غلب حالك ولا تغلب لسانك-16
I have no other contributing thoughts to that one. I just found it easier to do.
17- When in doubt, always remember nothing stays as it is. Change is inevitable.
Day to day we feel like nothing changes but when you look back you find that nothing is the same. I like to compare life as a whole to a heart monitor they attach to a person when in the hospital. The waves consistently move up and down, indicating you’re alive. If the wave turns into a straight line, it means you’re dead. Life is the same way. Can’t appreciate the highs without the lows and if both didn’t exist, we wouldn’t be alive.
18- Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s right.
19- Sometimes you have to unfollow people… in real life.
There is a hadith I learned about a couple years back, I don’t have it memorized word for word but the overall message was that you are a product of the top 5 people you surround yourself with. Which is absolutely true, you’re only going to be as good as those you surround yourself with.
20- Beyond our cultural differences, we humans all long for the same things.
21- Depression is not the presence of sadness but the absence of any sort of feeling.
22- Never settle.
Set your bar of morals and values high, and never settle for anything below it. Your worth is not determined by another persons ability to see it.
23- Appreciate the now.
We spend so much time hoping and planning that we forget to see the growth that has already happened. These moments are so important to not break from stressful events life throws at us
24-
الحياة حلوة بس بدها واحد شبعان نوم
True story. I am a much happier and more productive person when I am well rested. I honestly do not know how I used to pull all-nighters in high school.
Overall I am blessed and thankful to see another year. The one major goal I set for myself aside from the others is that I always move forward, even if it is only a single step v.s a mile. As long as I continue to grow and move forward in every aspect, I am content. There is still so much I want to do and learn. I love life and being alive and the world has so much to offer. I’m looking forward to what 25 has to offer.
In Beiteen Here and There 